So, today I want to talk about something that's a really serious topic and shouldn't be taken lightly. I wanted to post this on Instagram but the caption would be way too long and wouldn't fit.
If you guys follow me on Instagram, you probably notice I post a lot of quotes that have to do with staying strong, and I also post a lot of things about the organization 'To Write Love On Her Arms'.
I post those pictures for one main reason: to help people.
I want to help people who are going through the similar things I did. I went through depression (clinical, not self-diagnosed), anxiety, and I was almost diagnosed with an eating disorder, and it came from the depression and anxiety.
Despite that last sentence, I'm not looking for sympathy. I tell people that I went through those things so they know that they're not alone. That I know what they went through. I know the pain, the loneliness, the feeling of where you want to give up, I know everything that they're going through. It's the most awful feeling in the world.
A subtopic I would like to bring up in this blog post is self harm. People self harm because it helps take the pain away. Temporarily. Yes, temporarily. The most common question I get is if I ever self-harmed, and I'd like to answer the question right now for all of you.
No.
Did I ever think about self injury? Yes. I did a few times. It was only because I wanted the pain of everything to away, but luckily before I did inflict the self pain on myself, I realized that it would only take the pain away temporarily, like I recently stated. It took a lot of a courage not to pick up something to slice my skin with, but I fought through it, and you can, too.
If you're reading this paragraph and you think self-harm is the answer, it's most certainly not. I will tell you, and in no means am I trying to scare you, but self-harm will most likely leave permanent scars. And an example of why you don't want permanent scars:
Mom/Dad, what are those scars on your arm?
Even if you don't want kids now, imagine what it'll be like if you end up having kids. Now, if you suffer from depression, you're probably saying "I won't make it to be a parent," well, just keep reading.
If you self-harm already, I'm not going to tell you to stop. I know just saying "Stop" won't do anything, so I'm going to tell you this: Please, please, please, get help and/or talk to someone. I know you hear this from others that give you advice, but I can't stress it enough. Even if you don't self-harm, talking/seeking help is the best medicine, and talking/seeking help could save your life. Just by telling someone "I thought about suicide" or "I've been seriously depressed lately," odds are they will seek help and they will help you, also. Sounds overly-dramatic, but I'm not kidding. Just by speaking up, my life was potentially saved.
If you're considering suicide, I know how you're feeling. You think no one cares, and you think the world would be better off without you. I promise you one person out there cares, and that's me. Even if you're reading this and you don't know me, I still care. You were put on this Earth for a reason, and you have so much to live for. Sounds crazy, right? Believe it or not, it's absolutely true. You're unique in your own way. And you probably hear the phrase "Stay strong" multiple times. It honestly one of the most motivational phrases, even though it seems like it means nothing. So, when people tell you to stay strong, it's a great piece of advice. It also shows they care.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 (in the US), and seek help immediately.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, contact 911 or your local emergency services, and seek help immediately.
Your life is precious and wasn't meant to be ended due to depression.
Another thing I'd like to bring up quickly is that in the end, you will come out stronger. You will also find that certain people will stand out, stand out meaning that they made an impact and they pretty much helped save you life, and they helped you during the hardest time in your life. You will notice them, and you will appreciate them so much for the support. Right now, I'd like to take this time to dedicate everyone who helped me through the hardest time in my life, because I don't think I've ever done this:
- My loving family, first and foremost.
- My best friends who have always have stuck by my side
- Jimmy Fallon, who I started watching on television when my depression started, and will always be my role model, and my hero
- Outasight, who's music helped me through everything
- Nicolas Deschamps, who will forever be my second role model, no matter what team he plays for in the AHL or NHL
- The FalPals on Twitter, especially Emily Kivi, who talked to me throughout everything the one night I was seriously considering suicide (and the rest of the FalPals are pretty darn amazing, I didn't forget about you guys).
- The Toronto Marlies Family, you guys know who you are, I love you guys so much, you guys always brightened up my day no matter how bad the day was (and you guys still do).
I just wanted to make that quick dedication, sorry. I've never made a dedication before, and all those people deserve it. But in the end, like I said, you will find that certain people make an impact on your life while you go through all of the things you are going through. They're like, heroes, basically. You can have one or you can have many, everyone is different.
In conclusion, you deserve to be here. Stay strong. Please. Just stay strong. Things can only get better, and you can get through this. It might not seem like you can, but you can and you will.
And remember: if you don't think anyone cares, I do.
-Lauren K.
