Thursday, October 31, 2013

I'm A Survivor, In More Ways Than You Know

   Hey guys.

   Guess who's back in school!

   After a year of homeschooling, I am now back in a physical school. Let me just say, thank goodness. I couldn't stand another year of homeschooling.

   Now let me just touch up on some topics for those of you who don't know why I was homeschooled, and why homeschooling isn't all it resembles.

   Long story short, I was homeschooled because of anxiety. Social anxiety. I literally could not go to school, it was that bad. I'm obviously not over-exaggerating either, because why would I be homeschooled if I could go to school?

   It was partially my decision to be homeschooled but mostly a doctor's and my school district's. No, I didn't get taught by my Mom or Dad, I got taught by three tutors who came to my house from the district. One was a tutor for Science, and the science tutor was actually supposed to be my real teacher in school if I went to actual school. Another one was for Spanish, and finally one for every other subject. It seemed to help my anxiety because I was homeschooled, but in reality, it didn't. I'll explain why it didn't later.

  Being on homebound instruction (that's just what they called it. It's not homebound like I have to stay home no matter what I do, it's just their word for homeschooling) was honestly awful. It was hard to keep up with work that my classes were doing in school, and my grades dropped tremendously (but I still passed) because of that.

   Every year in the state of New York, we have to take state produced tests in order to completely graduate high school. Let me just say, homeschooling and state produced tests DON'T mix well.

   I ideally needed to pass all my tests obviously, but I REALLY needed to pass my Earth Science test, that one is more crucial than the others. And I barely did. That was because the tutor (it has to be a different tutor giving you the test) NEVER SHOWED UP TO GIVE ME THE TEST. I had to take the test the same time everyone else did, as per NYS rules, which meant I had less time to take it because I had to run to the school I should've been in and take it just about an hour after the test started. Not to mention I had an ongoing anxiety attack sitting in that classroom at the last minute. I passed with a 65.

   Commonly asked questions by people who ask me about homeschooling:
   Q: When and what time did you go to school?
   A: I went to 'school' four days a week. Mondays I would have Spanish from 4-6pm. Wednesdays I would        have Science at the same time. Tuesdays and Thursdays I had tutoring for all other subjects from 5-7            pm. When I first started with tutoring, though, I had it five days a week, Spanish and Science at the               same time, but the main tutoring 9-11 am. It was kinda like going to college.
  Q: How did you get your schoolwork?
  A: My tutors would stop by the school and pick it up for me. My teachers who I should've had if I was in         the actual school would usually put together a packet with work inside, with a homebound form on the           front.
 Q: Where did you work when your tutors came?
 A: My kitchen at the dining room table.
 Q: Did homebound help your anxiety?
 A: I thought it was, but now that I look back, it didn't. If I had gone to an actual school, it would've been          better, because then I would've been able to fight my anxiety instead of hiding away from it. It actually            made it quite worse.

   So now I'm back in an actual school, and everything is going well, except for one thing. Global class.

   Don't get me wrong, my teacher is an amazing teacher, he's actually my favorite teacher. But, take what I just said into perspective. I didn't really get taught in social studies last year. No lessons, no nothing. I just was handed worksheets and I didn't learn from them. Understandable how I would've gotten a better education sitting in a classroom, but still. Now this year on a lot of my tests, my teacher includes topics from last year, because 60% of things from last year are going to be on this year's state-produced global test. So, I'm basically set up to fail. Every time I walk into the class now I get anxiety. So I have to figure that out sooner or later, because I need to pass this course.

    Oh well.

    Lauren

 

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